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Good Followers of the Savior

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[01 Jan 2006|02:05am]

neve_cretina
[ mood | tired ]



Ted's wang is the length of this scar.

This is the victim of the ancient, unorderly Ponusian society who opposed Donus once Donus refused to assist the Ponusian. It's tradition for the Popo to reincarnate himself so as to avoid riff-raff Popos being elected. So, at the time of this event, there existed Popo Ted II who was, at the time, a young Popo.

Popo Ted II traveled to Ponusian in order to bring down the uprise of the waking Hell that now neighbored the Holiest of Holy empires. One woman bore her breasts to him as he entired their small country and out of her nipples she birthed two rabid hamsters that tore at Pope Ted II like demon babies of some demonic place. Popo Ted II karate chopped them dead and as the angry whore threw herself at him, he let loose the force of a thousand men. He let out the wang of holy Popo-ism. With it he lashed the side of the whore, spilling her blood and eight-inches of kidney donating (google search image).

This began the Era of Triumph Against the Opposing Ponusian Who Were Doomed to Become the Dutch.

1 insight|Comment

Haaaaaaang [30 Dec 2005|07:08pm]

neve_cretina
over.
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The Popo Giveth A Miniscule Speech [26 Dec 2005|09:08pm]

kage_no_kaze
The Popo says Donus needs followers.. so convert the non-believers, let them know the love of Donus.. or let them know that they shall be smote if they do not know the love of Donus! Ah-women.
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The Stereotypical Wise Owl. [26 Dec 2005|02:21pm]

neve_cretina
The land of Ponusian was once a strip of land admist many poverty stricken nations. It resided relatively south of the Persians, north of the Indies, beyond Slovenia, and next to the Holy Donusian Empire. Its people cried for a savior to release them from their horrible damnation.

Donus Munst heard their cried and as a loving savior said unto the people, "I shall send you a stereotypically wise owl to hear you problems and resolve them."

So, Donus Munst sent a stereotypically wise owl to the land of the damned, but loyal followers of Munstianity. The owl perched on top of a brittle tree branch and ruffled its feathers with authority. The mass gathered around the predatorial bird of miracles. Though, the people were afraid. They knew not how to approach this seemingly normal appearing owl with their troubling troubles.

Finally, a brave man cried out from behind the crowd, "O owl of stereotypical wise who comes from the above at thirty-six degrees, help us!"

Moved by the mans courage, the mass began howling demands from the stereotypically wise owl. Soon, the owl raised a single wing so that its wonderous feathers flittered in the soft breeze. The crowd fell silent. The owl lowered its wing.

One by one, the people explained calmly to the stereotypically wise owl of their poverty and wars. they spoke of their desire to be one with their loving Munst. After hearing much of the masses' bickering, the owl nodded solemnly. A sympathetic tear fell from its beady eye for the people and their ongoing sorrows.

"Plus," sadly added another man admist the gathered people, "We have gay people."

The owl perked its head in shock and replied, "O RLY?"



Historical documents show that this nation grew up to be known as the Netherlands, and was denied help by Donus Munst. It is said that this is the location of Munstian Hell. Where people are led to believe that it is a wonderful nation, but is actually economically crippled and full of racist Aryans.
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The Dark Year leading up to the birth of Our Lord. [26 Dec 2005|01:16pm]

irasciblehermit
Oh, in the dark year of nineteen-hundred, four-score and eight, the world was in a state of panic.

Let us observe, humble Munstians, the events that occured leading up to the birth of Our Lord. While there were some good things that took place, we will only note the more depressing or violent things because the removal of certain key facts to persuade the public is the way to go.

January- On January 1, The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America came into existence. The creation of this church was yet another attempt by the Anti-Donus (who already knew of the coming of Our Lord) to lead the masses away from Munstianity. On a less Anti-Donus note, The Popo of Munstianity turned three. At least, we'll assume it was three because the writer of this 'doctorine' lacks the ability to add.

February- On February 21, Jimmy Swaggart, on his own televangelism program, confessed that he was guilty of an "unspecified sin". This is an early show of repentence in preparation for the coming of Our Lord. That "unspecified sin" was engaging in sexual affairs with a prostitute.

March- March 16, The Halabja poison gas attack was carried out by Iraqi government forces. Does anything else really need to be said? Obviously this is another appearance of the Anti-Donus. The masses are aching! They need a savior!

April- April 12, Former pop singer Sonny Bono is elected mayor of Palm Springs, California. Sonny Bono is a minion of the Anti-Donus and should be eradicated quickly. That is all.

May- May was a boring month, but at this point, the masses are starting to reach out for salvation. Their heartstrings play the tune of a sad song! A sad song in need of the light of Our Lord!

June- June 30, Mid-way through the dark year. Roman Catholics are starting to go against the tides. Archbishop Marcel Lefebrve took action without a Papal mandate. The world is beginning to constrict with anticipation, for soon, the arrival of Our Lord will take place.

July- Italy is the favored country of Donus. The light of Munstianity shines, though sometimes dimly, over this boot-shaped holy land. On July 1, the Quartetto Cetra performed their last concert after approximately forty years' of music-making. These faithful retired from the lime light so that they could go to their homes and begin writing songs for Our Lord.

August- August 14, The Munstian Head Nun Whom Wields the Fierce Baton of Obediance aged one year. The Munstian movement, while still silent, gained another follower. The Munstian Head Nun Whom Wields the Fierce Baton of Obediance was actually born in the Age of Odd Years, but only one, Our Lord, can be considered as being Holy at birth. The Munstian Head Nun Whom Wields the Fierce Baton of Obediance started off like all other peons and rose slowly through the ranks.

September- September 29, NASA resumes space shuttle flights, grounded after the Challenger disaster. NASA even feels the tension in the air. Space shuttle flights are back in order after the Challenger disaster. This rebirth of shuttle flights signifies the beginning of the future conquest by Munstians of outer space.

October- October 30, Philip Morris buys Kraft Foods for US$13.1 billion. Relevancy zero.

November- November 17, The Netherlands becomes the second country to get connected to the Internet. The Internet is an important tool in the spreading of Munstianity. This growth of the WWW to other regions of the world was the subconscious stepping stone for the opportunity to reach out to others about Munstianity.

December- The month of Our Lord. On the sixth day of this month, Donus was introduced to the harsh world. The unbelievers quaked in fear while the believers threw their hands to the sky and chanted the following:

O Comfortor to Thee we cry
Thou gift of Donus sent from on High
Thou font of life and fire of love
The soul's anointing from above (thirty-six degrees),
The soul's anointing from above (thirty-six degrees).

And then, the Lord Donus cooed, and it was good.

Ahhhhhh-men.
1 insight|Comment

Our first debate. [26 Dec 2005|03:10am]

neve_cretina
As seen on my page from My Space (if you've seen it).


There is a snail crawling across this woman's nipple. There are people in the world who enjoy having snails crawl across their nipples. Sometimes, these people wake up in the morning and think, "Gee, I really want to have a snail crawl across my nipple." Or maybe this premonition occured to them in a dream. In such case, the events would possibly unfold like this, "Gee, I have a snail crawling over my nipple." Actually, snails don't crawl. They don't slither, run, walk, jog, waltz, jump, or climb, either. Therefore, there's nothing left but for a snail to float. Therefore, that snail isn't really touching anybody's nipple and this was just a waste of time.

The moral of this lecture is to find out the term for snails' means of mobility.
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Welcome. Bienvenue. Benvenuto. Mottakelse. 歡迎。Прием. [26 Dec 2005|02:48am]
donus_munst
I welcome thee to this forum of compassion, insight, and knowledge. Please take note that our average Munstian is a speaker of English, and try to follow such trend if possible.

Munstianism is a religion that needs no definition, because a true Munstian knows this already. Only the worthy may bathe beside me in the above at thirty-six degrees. Though, you are all in mine viscus.

Do note that posting access is granted to High Officials. High Officials are listed on the Info page. A link to such is provided at the top of this forum.
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